.
Welcome back, my friends, to the "Battle" that never ends.
We're so glad you could attend. Come inside! Come inside!


This is
'BATTLE OF THE BANDS' ('BOTB') where you listen to different recordings of the same song and vote for the one you like best. Two "Battles" per month, on the 1st and 15th. Six days later (the 7th and 21st), I place my own vote, tally 'em all up and announce the winner.

Friend? Foe? Stranger? No matter, ALL are welcome. So pull up a chair, pour yourself 24 oz. of 'DOG BITE High Gravity Lager' (or the poison of your choice) and turn it up to Eleven!

[NOTE: Links to the first year of 'BOTB' (#1 - #24) can be found at the very bottom of this page.]

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

THE BONEHEAD BLOG HOP

.
.
In my time, I have made a couple BIG BONEHEAD decisions. Those essentially ruined my life. And since there isn't even the slightest patina of humor there, we won't go there.

I have also made a number of small bonehead moves, and since this is 'The Bonehead Blog Hop', I have decided to tell the story of how I once dated my sister, 'Bonehead'.

First, I suppose I should tell you how she got that nickname.

My sister's real name is Sherrie, and it's pronounced the way Stevie Wonder sings the name in this song...



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Gu-CyE-NQ

Go ahead and click 'Play' - it'll give you some nice music to listen to while I tell "the rest of the story".

When we were all very young, my Ma used to call my sister Sherrie Bonet ("Bo-nay"), playing off the French sound of her first name. Well, being young bratty boys, my brother and I began calling her "Bonehead". That was in the mid-1960s and... we're STILL calling her "Bonehead" today.

Now, on to the story of how I once dated Bonehead...

When it came to dating, I was not one to risk facing a whole lot of rejection, so I rarely asked a woman out until I was already fairly confident that she was going to say “Yes.”

I recall the night I dated Janna. This was probably in 1982. Janna was one of the few girls who possessed enough courage to hang out with the boys and me ('The League Of Soul Crusaders') from time to time. Gradually, I got to thinking that Janna was nice looking and not too talkative and that she might agree to go out with me, so I asked her. She said yes.


Human intellect cannot estimate what we owe to woman. She gives us good advice, and plenty of it. She soothes our aching brows, she bears our children – ours as a general thing. … What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce. 
~ Mark Twain


I took Janna to dinner one night, and everything was going well. I was pretty much having to carry the bulk of the conversation, but then I had expected that, so it was OK.

She was sitting there across from me in the restaurant, and the waiter had just barely introduced our plates to the table when... it suddenly came crashing into my mind that – DOH! – Janna looked just like my sister, Bonehead!

I kid you not, the whole night I couldn’t get it out of my mind that I was dating my sister. Well, I say “the whole night” like this was an A-list date that lasted all night, but the truth is, the moment I realized how much Janna looked like Bonehead, I couldn’t wait for the date to end. I ate quickly and I drove her straight home, said goodnight, and then found where the boys were drinking and I started playing 'Catch-up'. All I wanted to do was scrub that memory out of my mind with some 80-proof cleanser.

I never asked the po’ girl out again and she never knew the reason why.

You think I was being unreasonable, don’tcha? You think I was exaggerating, making a mountain out of a molehill, right? Oh yeah? Well, take a look for yourself! Here’s a photo of Janna. She’s on the right in the colorful pastel blouse:
.
.
And now here’s a picture of me with my sister, Bonehead, in the back of my old Chevy Luv truck:
.
.
[Bonehead in my truck. Just my luck!]

Hey, who’s the wiseguy who wrote “Uhp! Your [sic] an idiot!” across the side of my truck? ...Well, if the slur fits, wear it.

[The bonehead story above was excerpted and expanded from my old blog bit I GOT THEM 'BAD LUCK WITH WOMENS' BLUES]

To find the blog bits of other 'Bonehead Blog Hop' participants, go to Doctor Cherdo's blog by clicking HERE. 

~ Stephen T. McCarthy 
(aka D-FensDogG, aka Bonehead's Brother)

36 comments:

  1. Looking back, do you think she would have understood if you'd told her?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MICHAEL ~
      Uh... no.
      I think she would have said, "You're out of your mind! I don't look anything at all like your sister." (And that, Michael, you can see for yourself.)

      All I could think at the time was that I needed to see Doc Jack Daniels, and I needed to see him QUICK!

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete
  2. Oh, my gosh - I can just see you sitting there and the grand date turning into family dinner. I can't believe you never noticed it before hand because, Brother, she definitely looks like your sister!! Do THEY realize it??

    The only thing I can say is it's a great compliment to your sister; you must love her and that rolled over into your choices in gals.

    Or you're mental; you choose.

    Thanks for participating in the Blog Hop!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >>... I can just see you sitting there and the grand date turning into family dinner.

      HA!-HA! That's it exactly.

      >>... I can't believe you never noticed it before

      And that, Dear Doctor Cherdo, is what made me such a... BONEHEAD!

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
  3. Oh gosh..I totally understand and that would be awkward. I am not sure if telling her would have made much of a difference. Be thankful she did not look like your mother or you would be checking out Freud's books

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BIRGIT ~
      Yeah, I am normally a very honest person who would never want to hurt a nice person's feelings, but I just didn't think there was much point in "coming clean" with Janna.

      I admit that it still bothers me that I left her wondering what had gone wrong with our first and only date, but I think it was just a no-win situation no matter what I did.

      I could have dated a woman who looked "somewhat like" my Sister (because I do think my Sister was attractive), but not a woman who was the spitting image of her!

      Your remark about mother and Freud made me laugh.

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
  4. Great story. I can see how that would be awkward. Dr. Jack was my doctor in my misspent youth as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Say what one will about Jack, but he was a good doc who always provided just what he ordered.

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
  5. Oh yes, I remember you telling me this story, but it's still hilarious. And the resemblance is uncanny.

    I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but my cohort has a sister, and I happen to think they look very alike. No, she doesn't look like him with long hair, but I think she has enough facial similarities that it might as well be a very girly version of him with long hair.

    So with that said, I always found it funny in high school when one of our friends would remark that she's "cute" or say something like, "Hey, your sister's starting to turn into a real looker, man." All I could think was them saying they were secretly attracted to him. I can acknowledge that she's not a bad looking girl, but any time I see her I instantly see Brandon and just shrivel up. And I stand by what I said in yesterday's post - I know that to women he's a good looking guy, but to me he has the sex appeal of an orphanage fire. And that, by extension, goes to his sister automatically.

    ~6B

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 6-B ~

      >>... All I could think was them saying they were secretly attracted to him.

      In other words, "one of those men who's attracted to other men." Not "confident heterosexuals", eh?

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
  6. I fear that every time the memory came up, I'd want a drink. Oh my goodness ... dead ringer... but gorgeous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DIXIE POLKA ~
      Indeed, the memory comes up often, and when it does, I order a drink.

      And now you know "the rest of the story"... how STMcC became the Town Drunk.

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
  7. You shouda told her. As a matter o fact, you still should look her up and tell her. Then you both can have a good laugh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahh, no, I haven't seen Janna since 1982 or '83. I wouldn't know how to get in touch with her now. And besides that, I'm sure it's a date she too would just rather not be reminded of.

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (Edited to fix a terrible spelling error)

      Nothing like those notions that pop into your head, that you say 'How stooped that is!' but which just won't go away at all, and you're stuck with them. Like the time I was eating supper with my grandmother. She liked to economize on paper products, and would reuse them. That evening, at the table, she said, "Oh, I must blot my lips!" And she reached for a paper napkin and proceeded to do so. "Gosh," I said, "I wonder if that's the one Gus (kid brother) used to blow his nose (with a lot of noise and commotion) this evening!" Grandma nearly choked and I incurred Mom's wrath. But it was worth it.

      Delete
    2. DIANA, I think you did her a great service. I mean, sometimes even Grandmas need a wake-up call.

      And, by the way, I know you're not implying that Gus had blown his nose at the table but... WHAT IS UP WITH PEOPLE WHO DO THAT?

      I am shocked, Shocked, SHOCKED, I tell you, by how many people think nuttin' of pulling out a handkerchief and blowing their nose at a table where others are eating. Oooohhh!... That's a good way to incur MY wrath.

      Yeah, that's just what I want to hear, someone's snot being forcefully blown through their nasal passages into a handkerchief while I'm trying to eat. And what if they don't have their nostrils sufficiently covered? Where are those randomly missed droplets of snot going?!

      Perhaps my #1 pet peeve of all time. Even worse than people saying, "I COULD care less."

      Thanks for stopping by, Diana. (You're a really good writer! I don't even need to read one of your books to know that.)

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
  9. I know someone who married a woman who looked quite a bit like his sister. Many years later, I found out that their marriage had ended. It turned out that the groom was gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it really explained a lot. Glad you took her straight home before she fell even harder for you. This was a funny story Stephen, though I'm sure you didn't feel that way at the time!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GEM JULIE ~
      Someone watched 'Seinfeld'. Ha!

      It's kind of hard to "fall for me" in the first place, so I don't think she was at a point where the word "harder" was relevant.

      You're right, Julie, I didn't see the humor in it then, but I do now.

      It's kind of astounding that I didn't notice her similarity to my Sister until I was seated directly across the table from her, with all other distractions (like loud music and partying friends bouncing off the walls) removed from the environment.

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
  10. Yeah, I can understand that concern. I've always avoided dating anyone who looked remotely like my sisters. I tried not to even have guy friends who looked like my sister. Once when I was in junior high I asked my sister to dance because I thought I'd seen it in a movie and thought it was kind of suave cool thing to do, We both felt very uncomfortable with that scenario and turned it into a big clown goof falling on the floor and acting stupid. Didn't do that again.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host

    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >>... I tried not to even have guy friends who looked like my sister.

      You "tried" not to? Ha!

      What, was that difficult finding guy friends who didn't look like your sister?

      I'm glad I never had that problem. I think you may have been hanging out with the wrong guys!

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete
  11. Hello Mr. McCarthy. Since I braved Shady and found such a warm welcome I thought I'd stop in and say hello here.

    If you had tried to explain things to her I don't know that she would believe you and it could have done more harm that good. As it stood, it may have stung for a few days and no harm done.

    I had a guy tell me once that he would never go out with me again. His reason, "You cut your hair too short and you look like a man." I really wish he would have lied or just never called me again. Needless to say I rarely cut my hair and keep it down to the middle of my back. I don't want to go there ever again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PS. I do like that song. One of my favourite ballads by Stevie is "All is Fair In Love." And like most people I love Superstition. I've got a copy of a live performance of the song by Jeff Beck, Bogert and Carmine Appice that is very cool. It's one of the songs I have on my "Road Jams" CD.

      Delete
    2. ANNE ~
      Thanks for taking a chance. I think I can nearly guarantee you will get out of this without any bite marks. (I'm feeling too mellow to bite tonight.:-)

      Well, I do think women are USUALLY more attractive with longer hair, but to say you looked like a man?!?!?! C'mon! The face in that avatar couldn't look like a man no matter how short her hair. (That guy was obviously a weirdo... with really bad eyesight... and you should feel fortunate that you didn't lose any more time on that loser.)

      Oh, yeah, I like 'All In Love Is Fair', too! In fact, every single track on that 'Innervisions' album is very good to great. And 'Superstition' is easily one of my "favoritist" Stevie Wonder songs.

      I used to make "Road Trip" cassette tapes, too. There are certain qualities that make songs good for driving to. (My favorite title was "A Short Dog For The Road". That's slang for cheap wino wine, and I put a label from a bottle of Night Train wine on the cassette case.)

      My all-time favorite non-compilation Road Music, however, is music by the Pat Metheny Group (stuffs like 'Letter From Home', 'The First Circle' and 'Still Life Talking'). There's just something about the PMG's music that makes it ideal Road Music. Do you know any of their stuffs?

      Of course, 'Radar Love' is unquestionably one of the greatest driving songs ever recorded.

      Thanks for taking a chance and commenting, ANNE. See? I ain't so bad.

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
    3. Oh yeah, I know PMG. The time signature in Full Circle is a nightmare for drummers. In some places you want to be sparse and play in 3/2 and in some places you want to double up and play 3/4, and at 3/8 you can cram a whole lot into a tiny space.

      I've got Radar Love on my CD as well. 'Babba O'Riley'. 'Living for the City', 'I Want to Take You Higher' , 'Suppers Ready' 'Kashmir', 'Stay With Me' 'Whipping Post' and 'I Don't Need No Doctor' from Humble Pie's Live at Filmore East are must haves for me.

      You're not so scary after all and thanks for not biting me :0)

      Delete
    4. PS Since you're into PMG, you might like Allan Holdsworth. If you haven't already listened to him, here's a link https://youtu.be/XUbZ6h2QPv8

      Delete
    5. ANNE ~
      Oh, yes, I'm familiar with Allan Holdsworth. He's a very tasteful guitarist (which is not to say I've ever bitten him). And I played that video you left the URL for. His guitar tone is, to me, reminiscent of Spyro Gyra - a group which I like but in limited amounts.

      A godzillion years ago I used to post at the PMG website. Everybody there were all into worshipping Metheny the guitar god. And while he's indeed an exceptional guitarist, the attraction for me has always been about his compositions.

      I remember way back in the beginning, I just put one of his CDs into my car (either 'First Circle' or 'Still Life Talking') and let it repeat over and over. I loved the sound but thought all the tunes seemed kind of similar. But then one day, I found myself humming along to one. Then the next one comes on and I think: Oh, yeah, I like this one, too. And I start humming or whistling along. And then the next and the next and...

      And that's when I knew I had finally "gotten" the PMG. Each track had become a recognizable and enjoyable melody.

      I dig a very, very wide spectrum of Jazz - everything from Dixieland and Big Band to Fusion - but the Jazz "noodling", where there's little to no song structure and no discernible melody, I like only in small quantities and if I'm in the right mood. So that means Fusion, which can get kind of self-indulgent. And the real hard Bebop I am not a fan of at all.

      OK, so I gotta ask... Who are your all-time favorite drummers? Let's say you could only name two... who?

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
    6. You're so right. Melody trumps technique and complexity every time. I think were hard wired to respond to melody and to remember it. Before we could write, we passed down traditions and history orally. And from what I understand, those stories were told with a cadence, a rhythm and a particular melody.

      I'm not terribly fond of Fusion either as it can be terribly pretentious and generally it lacks a good groove. I do like Bebop though.

      Two drummer? Are you trying to kill me? To cause me psychological trauma from which I'll never recover?

      Okay, the first is obvious. Buddy Rich. Holy Christ, the man was a monster behind the kit. I'd been playing for a couple of years and I got to meet him after a gig and shook his hand. His hands were like blocks of granite. I also quit playing for a month after that as I knew I'd never be able to touch what he did. I got over it as one does.

      The other would be Billy Cobham. Cobham has it all. Groove, swing, impeccable timing and he knows when not to play. He can comp behind any instrument and get it right every time. And from what I hear, he's one really nice dude. No ego at all and very accessible to young drummers.

      When you brought up technique and then asked this question it brought to mind Neal Pert. Now the man can PLAY, but he's got no swing. You know the saying "It don't mean a thing, if you aint got no swing..."






      Delete
    7. >>... Are you trying to kill me? To cause me psychological trauma from which I'll never recover?

      Well, I gotta do SOMETHING, and I did promise I wouldn't bite.

      Yeah, there's no arguing against Buddy Rich. I always wondered though if he was really as good as he said he was. Ha!

      And Billy Cobham, on top of everything else, that dude can hit the kit HARD! I've heard some things where I thought there was thunder outside.

      And I'm glad you mentioned Neil Pert in this sense. People were constantly yakking about how great the guy was. I'd listen and think: Yeah, technically he's good, but no better than a whole lot of other drummers before and beside him. But most of all, he's B-O-R-I-N-G. I never did get the Neil Pert adulation, and thanks to you, I guess now I know why. "It don't mean a thing if..."

      I suspect we've not got the same thing in mind when I denounced (hard) Bebop. I used the expression "hard Bebop" but that was incorrect. I DO like Bebop, but I was attempting to differentiate Bebop from those excessive displays of hyper-speed popular with folks like Dexter Gordon and Bird (during that phase which so impressed Kerouac in the years just prior to his writing 'On The Road').

      Again, what I was referring to was the sacrificing of melody and structure for self-indulgent soloing at a meaningless speed. (I think of it as the Jazz equivalent of Speed Metal in Rock.)

      Although I did not capitalize the "h" when I wrote "hard Bebop", it was a bad word choice since under the "official" label of Hard Bop one finds lots of performers and albums I like a lot (e.g., Miles Davis, Art Blakey, Charlie Haden, etc.)

      Hell, is there even a label that differentiates Bebop from the type of Bebop I don't like and have described here? If there is, I'm not sure I've encountered it.

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
    8. Lots of people thing playing fast is the mark of a good musician. That's just bollocks. You're right, the best of it was Davis, Blakey and Haden. Now those guys solo'd but it meant something within the context of the composition.

      I think the best all instrumental work is like a musical conversation between the musicians. My husband is a guitar player and I've been his drummer for 26 years. Sometimes he'll call and I answer and sometimes it's like a conversation that's so intense it's beyond what one can express verbally.

      And I hate Speed Metal. If it has any emotion, it's only one and that's aggression. Humans have a wide spectrum of emotions and I like music that reflects changing moods. And those boys, got not melody and no rhythm.

      Delete
    9. ANNE O' ~
      [Ha! Do you know who Annie Oakley was? That just made me think o' her.]

      Yeah, when I was young and foolish, I thought speed was everything. I musically grew way past that, and long ago, too.

      I do remember when I heard Eddie Van Halen's first album and I thought the world had turned upside down. And while I do think that his popularizing that "tapping" technique was a cool thing, I'm much more into guitarists (and other musicians) who can convey emotion, and who can play with nuance and dexterity. (And don't need to cover mistakes with speed and volume!)

      Although I'm not a musician, I do know what you're referring to about music being a language that players can have "conversations" with, due to all the reading I've done. This is something I've encountered many times through the years, in reading about musicians and particular jam sessions and recordings.

      Speed Metal - yep, you're right: One emotion, and it's aggression.

      I won't name the name because it's not necessary, but there is one particular BOTB voter whose votes I can predict beforehand with probably 98.5% accuracy. And it's because the only music they seem to really connect with is loud, fast Rock. So I can listen to the songs, find the one that has the more pronounced electric guitar sound in it and KNOW this person is going to vote for THAT one. And I'm always right.

      I think it's sad that there is so much really great music out there (in so many musical genres) and yet some people have such a terribly limited appreciation for music. It's THIS KIND and THIS KIND ONLY!

      Say, you know a whole helluva lot about music. When you gonna become a BOTBer? We need someone else who really digs Jazz. And like I said on Shady's blog, there's always room for "just one more".

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
    10. Thank you for being so nice to me and for asking me to join the BOTB club. My life is such that I can't make commitments to blog on a schedule. Between taking care of this big house, the yard and my husband I've little time to deal with my own blog. It's typical for me to post once or twice a month and then to be gone for months at a time. That's about all I can manage.

      I rather enjoy just popping in, reading blogs and talking to people.

      Delete
    11. ANNE ~
      Well, that's OK, I can understand that.

      However, if somewhere down the road (next month, next year, next... anything) your situation changes and you want to join BOTB, know that he door will always be open and you will be welcomed in.

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
  12. Oh my goodness- they do look alike. Like really-could- pass- for- twins alike.

    Dating stunk. I'm naturally backward, awkward and slightly inept at flirting. But I was smart. I realized early that the guys who stuttered and choked while trying to ask you out, were the guys who made the best dates. Those with the smooth approach are most likely players and they are only likable in fiction.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ELIZABETH ~
      That IS smart! The guys who are nervous when asking you out, those are the guys to whom your answer is more important.

      Dang! I never really thought about that before, but that's quite perceptive. Perhaps you should write a "dating" book. Seriously.

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
  13. I didn't comment on this when I read it a few days ago, because I'm sure I commented on the original post. But, this was an excellent contribution to this hop.

    I still think they look like they could be the same person. Yikes.

    ReplyDelete

>>... NOTE: COMMENT MODERATION IS ACTIVATED. ...<<
All submitted comments that do not transgress "Ye Olde Comment Policy" will be posted and responded to as soon as possible. Thanks for taking the time to comment.