Friday, June 10, 2016

LETTER TO LEE


I received an Email from Lee ("Arlee Bird") of 'Tossing It Out' and he sounded very good, very upbeat. They're running some tests but his doctor doesn't think anything is very seriously wrong and Lee hopes and expects to be back online in some days. Let's keep him in our prayers and hope that Lee and his doctor are right. 

Below is my r-E-ply to Lee's E:


YOU DUMBASS! ~
 
So there you are, just lounging around in your pajamas in a fancy, expensive bed while some busty blonde nurse feeds you Daiquiris all day, eh?

Do you realize that about 4 hours before your post went up I had a bunch of people praying for you and Sheboyganboy Six scrambling to find your phone number for me? I knew something was wrong. Lee doesn't just disappear without publishing a BOTB Results post; Lee doesn't leave comments unaddressed for 2.5 days!

You didn't reply to my text, and I was going to give you about 4 hours to answer my Email, then I was going to call you (as soon as SBB-6 found your phone number).

Seriously, I was very concerned that perhaps you were pushing up daisies, that you had kicked the bucket, bought the farm, that you had gone to that Great 'Battle Of The Bands' in the sky!

That was my first real concern!

And my second concern, which was almost as great as the first, was that you were six feet under and had left a Justin Bieber song on your blog as the final post! I was actually praying to God the Father to give you a second chance so that you could at least post once more. Who wants "I'm a Belieber" to be what everyone remembers them for? Surely, not even you, Lee!

I kept thinking about that black comedy scene in the great movie 'FALLING DOWN'. I couldn't help thinking of you as that golfer, and Justin Bieber as your "stupid little hat". 😁


 
I'm so glad that God answered our prayers, that you seem to be basically OK, and that you won't be eternally associated with the Biebs.

Man, I was already thinking about a virtual wake: Should we have hot dogs, pizza and beer? Or just buttermilk and Bieber?

In the future, Lee, please try to be less self-centered and think more about your Blogosphere buddies. You know, the least you could have done was quickly post a blog bit saying something like this:

FRIENDS ~
I apologize for the brevity of this hastily composed blog bit but I'm writing it from the back of a screaming ambulance as it's transporting me to the hospital. The password to my Blogger account is 123ABC. Just in case I don't pull through, will someone please post something on my blog? Anything. Just so long as my final post isn't about Justin Bieber. Thank you, my friends.
 
~ Stephen

POSTSCRIPT: Lee, in all seriousness now... I was genuinely concerned and we were really praying for you, even though we didn't know what the trouble was that we were praying about. I'm very relieved that you're alright and will be blogging for a good while yet. We look forward to your next post from home and hope you're perfectly well again by the June 15th BOTB installment. Prayer Changes Things. (And have a Daiquiri for me.)

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfuBREMXxts


~ Stephen T. McCarthy

44 comments:

  1. Your mention of the possibility that Bieber was the final post should make all of us think...since every day could be our last, be careful what you post.

    Do I really want to leave the world with a feature on the Bonzo Dog Band?

    LC

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    1. LC ~
      Exactly. We never know when The Reaper will strike. And maybe God in His mercy gave Lee a chance to "fix that".

      And, hopefully, the next time Lee is tempted to subject us to Justin Bieber, before he does so he will remember that the last time he did, it landed him in the hospital.

      That should be enough to make him reconsider. ;o)

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

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    2. I am glad you included me on your texts re: Lee-since I was behind looking at a comment exchange with him I did not realize he had been offline so long. I was concerned as well.

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  2. I'm glad you posted this! I was also very concerned about Lee, but I had not gotten to the point of thinking to call him. Finding that number was not easy, either, because I had been an idiot about it and had forgotten to enter him into my contacts. I had to pull up my cell phone records and find his particular area code in the SOCAL area! He is in "contacts" now, for sure.

    I'm really glad that Lee seems well and that this was apparently something of minor issue.

    I loved the Falling Down clip. One of my favorite movies. And I totally agree: if Lee had "shuffle[d] off this mortal coil", it would have been a shame to have ended it with Bieber. Almost as bad as going out on a Johnny Mathis or Willie Nelson number! (snicker)

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    1. 'FALLING DOWN' is one of my Top 25 favorite movies ever.

      Thanks again for getting me that phone number, SixBro. Didn't need it, thankfully, but I'll save it for the next time Lee posts a Bieber song.

      >>... Almost as bad as going out on a Johnny Mathis or Willie Nelson number! (snicker)

      You lookin' to occupy the hospital bed next to Lee's?
      [:o)

      ~ D-FensDogG

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  3. It's a relief to know that Lee is okay! Hilarious post, Stephen. :) I'm sure Lee enjoyed it, but you know, he's going to post whatever he likes, whether we do or not. ;)

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    1. Thanks, DEBBIE! Glad the blog bit entertained you. (There is nuttin' so serious that I can't find some humor in it. Well, almost nuttin', anyway.)

      >>... but you know, he's going to post whatever he likes, whether we do or not.

      Yeah, I'm afraid that's true.
      BUT... the next time he uses Justin Bieber, my man Rocco is going to pay Lee a little visit. And if he STILL does it AGAIN after that, then... Lee really is going to sleep with the fishes - under the N.Y. Giants' OTHER end zone - and a Justin Bieber song will just have to be his epitaph.

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

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    2. LMAO! I can tell, you really DON'T like Justin Bieber. ☺

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    3. Ha! To tell you the truth, DEBBIE, until Lee became a "Belieber" and forced the punk on us, I didn't know one single thing about him. I had never heard a Bieber song and I thought about him exactly 0% of the time.

      But thanks to Lee, I've now heard two Bieber songs, seen a couple videos (all of it rehashed crap that was around years before Bieber was on the scene) and my friend Beer Boy Bryan (6-B) has told me some of the personal stories which Bieber is so reviled for.

      Now I know way more'n I ever cared to know about Bieber, and yeah, me no likey!

      Just what I needed: BOTB to add more names to my already very lengthy "NO LIKEY" LIST. [:O)

      ~ D-FensDogG

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    4. Well, in all fairness, Bieber isn't all THAT bad. I mean, in his spare time he does love to read to little girls.

      No one's told him it's a statue, but it's good practice for him and it's the thought that counts, isn't it?

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    5. We Canadians have been trying to deny he's one of ours for years (he was born a couple of hours away from here). ;) That said, even though I'm not a fan, I will acknowledge he CAN sing (albeit in a wimpy voice) and he has taken steps to get his act together lately (well, except for that street fight you mentioned to Mary). Having too much money too young can really screw somebody up, plus, his parents weren't exactly stellar role models either. So, who else is on your "NO LIKEY" LIST? I shudder at the prospect of displeasing the host. ☺

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    6. -------- 6-B --------
      I'd be willing to bet that the "little girl" is doing the reading to HIM. And he's just pointing to the pretty pictures as the story proceeds.

      -------- DEBBIE --------
      I can sing, too, in a wimpy voice, but I don't see no one offering me a recording contract, and little girlies crowding me for my autograph.

      Then again, I haven't dyed my hair "snowflake" white, either. Maybe THAT'S the secret.

      Ha! Lotsa, lotsa musical performers on my "NO LIKEY" LIST. Still, I can handle most of 'em... once. But when Lee used Bieber for the second time in a row, I simply HAD to put him in the hospital!

      Well, let's see-- just off the top of my head in this moment... I really hate U2 (most overrated band in history).

      But as a general rule, if you just try to stay away from those pretentious, artsy-fartsy effeminate bands from the '80s, you otter be OK. (The B-52s come immediately to mind. So does Gary Numan, Flock Of Shitgulls, A-HO, Culture Cult, Duran naruD, Hard Sell, Devo, Eurythfreaks, Yakking Heads... uh... well... just go ask Girl Wonder who she loved in the '80s. THOSE are the ones! [:0)}

      ~ D-FensDogG

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    7. I'd love to hear you sing, Stephen. ☺ As for your "NO LIKEY" list, we should get along just fine. I'm not a U2 fan either and the 80s was not my favourite era for music. My old hippie self prefers the 60s and 70s.

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    8. >>... "I'd love to hear you sing, Stephen."

      Ha! That's what you think!!

      Although, it could be worse: you could be hearing my Brother sing. (He sings like Reno-ites drive the freeways: worst ever. Should be a law against it.)

      ~ D-FensDogG

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  4. I've been a bit away from the blogosphere for a while, as I guess you may have noticed, and I certainly didn't know about Mr. Arlee Bird. So, I'm very glad I happened to stop by this evening. You probably won't believe it, but I didn't even go to my own blog first. I just typed in your blog name, and voila', here I am. I'm sending well wishes along with everyone else! I have one question for you, though, Mr. Stephen T.....If you had Lee's number to text him, couldn't you also call him on that same number???...P.S. I agree with Debbie D. Hilarious post! But I already knew you're at your best when you're being funny and/or smart-assy!

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    1. Hi, Hello, Howdy, BROWN-EYED BECKY-O! ~
      Glad ya liked it. I guess most people wouldn't send a letter like that to someone in the hospital, but... I'm not "most people". Plus, I really do believe that "laughter is the best medicine". And even if Lee didn't laugh, I did, and it was enough to relieve some of the stress I felt.

      Also, if it makes him think twice before stabbing us in the ears with Bieber again, it will have served an even greater purpose.

      That was a good catch on your part regarding the phone number and texting. The real problem paragraph was this one...

      >>... "You didn't reply to my text, and I was going to give you about 4 hours to answer my Email, then I was going to call you (as soon as SBB-6 found your phone number)."

      I hadn't slept well when I wrote this whole thing, so my mind was fuzzy around the edges and soft in the middle. I DID realize that sentence was problematic, but not until after I published it. Then I was just too tired to bother editing it, and I thought: Aww, nobody'll even notice it anyway.

      "WRONG!", as Waylon sang.
      I had no idea ANYONE really paid that close attention to the shi-- er, cra-- er, stuffs I write.

      The truth is, maybe 2 hours after I had alerted people that "Houston! Arlee has a problem" and prayers started, SBB-6 found Lee's number for me. So, right then I texted him with that number. And then figured that when I got home, a couple hours later, if I found that Lee still hadn't responded to my Email, I would call him.

      Now it makes sense, huh?
      Thanks for paying attention to the details and keeping me honest, girl! [:o)

      ~ D-FensDogG

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    2. Well, I AM a writer gal, so I do sometimes pick up on the written word, ya know! :)
      I still don't quite understand your explanation, though, about the phone number...Perhaps you meant a land line? Oh well...this may have just demonstrated that I'm not ALWAYS such a smart gal about words...and writing, etc!! Have a fabulous, blissful weekend, my friend!!

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    3. Have beer; will cheer!

      ~ D-FensDogG

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    4. Al Bondigas here. Becky, he has no real explanation. You busted him and he's trying to bluff you. It was an up I'm an idiot moment. I grew up with him. I know his game.

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    5. UHP! I AM AN IDIOT!
      But...

      ...since you didn't say that was your "rulin'", it's merely your OPINION.

      So, there's that.

      ~ D-FensDogG

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    6. Still aint got muh gavel.

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    7. Until Girl Wonder returns your gavel, you can't emulate King Barack Obama.

      ~ D-FensDogG

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    8. Hey, Al Bondigas! Thanks so much for reply to my comment! I love it....Busted, Mr. Stephen T! LOL

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    9. My kid brother is STILL a punk!!

      ~ D-FensDogG

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    10. Your very welcome. It's always a pleasure to bust the T man.

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    11. I mean you're very welcome. Sometimes this stupid gadget does not type every letter and I'm too lazy to proofread.

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    12. I knew that was a-comin'. 2 Xie.

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    13. Sorry to be predictable.

      "2 Xie"...
      Ha!-Ha!
      ("You are absolved for your mediocrity."
      ~Antonio Salieri)

      ~ D-FensDogG

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  5. Oh my....this was way too funny and I am certain Lee will love every moment of it. I would never want to leave this world knowing Bieberhead was the last thing I wrote about but I bet Lee doesn't mind one bit. This movie looks hilarious and I had forgotten about it.

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    1. BIRGIT ~

      >>... I would never want to leave this world knowing Bieberhead was the last thing I wrote about but I bet Lee doesn't mind one bit.

      And therein lies the problem. As soon as Lee is home from the hospital, I think it's time all of us organized an intervention. Clearly the man needs help. Are we going to stand idly by while this man is (unfortunately) not-so-quietly crying for help?

      'FALLING DOWN' isn't really a comedy, overall. In fact, it's quite a serious theme, but the movie is still loaded with black comedy. I mean, seriously dark, but funny in a twisted way (like that golfing scene).

      'FALLING DOWN' is just one fantastic scene followed by another. No spoilers here, but I think my favorite is when the roadway is "UNDER CONSTRUCTION".

      Great, great movie on so many levels, and I can't recommended it enough. The movie takes place in Los Angeles, and it came out shortly after I had moved to tiny Prescott, Airheadzona. I told people there that I worked with, "If you want to know precisely WHY I left L.A., go to the theatre and see 'Falling Down'."

      ~ D-FensDogG

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  6. oh snap! My next scheduled battle is Bieber. Please don't hate me for this. I promise I am in somewhat good health (although I did feel a pain in my chest recently - nothing serious, turned out to be heartburn but maybe you could put in a few good words for me with the Big Guy in the Sky)

    Mary
    Jingle Jangle Jungle

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    1. MARY ~
      You're the type that likes to tempt fate, eh? That pain in the chest may have been an "early Bieber warning sign", corresponding with the "pain in the ears" you're apparently considering inflicting on the rest of us.

      Two bouts of Bieber landed Lee in the hospital. Are you sure you want to take this chance?

      Look, God has made it clear that he hates Bieber. God created everything in the universe EXCEPT Bieber. Bieber is truly the only living thing that DEvolved from apes.

      One should never deliberately piss off God or BOTBers. Just ask Lee... when he gets home from the hospital.

      Bieber got into a street fight with the boyfriend of one of his fans the other night. The kid is brain-dead. I WOULD pray for you, Mary, but I don't want God to start associating me with The Bieb.

      Between now and the 15th, I'm gonna try to track down the guy Bieb fought with and get him to record a song. Then you and I can put on a LITERAL "Battle Of The Bands". A BOTB first!

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

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  7. I join in praying for Lee. Please tell him I said so. I don't want to bother him. I prefer to nag God. Thank you for keeping us informed, Mr. McCarthy.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Just spoke to him on the phone, LOVE, JANIE, and Lee is back in his own home bed now.

      He's tired because the nurses kept waking him up all night for his hourly doses of Daiquiri. But he says a couple days of home bed rest (and Margaritas instead of Daiquiris) and he should be up and running again. (Well, not literally running, you know, but, like, blogging 'n' stuffs.)

      He will be here for the June 15th BOTB.

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

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    2. That's great news! Thanks for checking on Lee for us!

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    3. How come I never get a good drink when I'm sick in hospital? The nurses tell me to shut up. Not Cherdo, of course. If I'm ever injured again, I want Cherdo to take care of me.

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    4. -------- BECKY-O!~ --------
      I'm here to protect and serve.

      -------- LOVE, JANIE~ --------
      Every time I've been in the hospital, the nurses have fed me Mojitos through a bendy-straw. But then I'm more handsome than you, and I know how to flirt right good. (I leave the back of my peek-a-boo gown open for a good look. My far-sighted, 70-year-old nurses have always appreciated that.)

      ~ D-FensDogG

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  8. Thanks for the tribute using one of my favorite films. I think I'm about due to watch Falling Down again--it's been awhile.

    And as Debbie said, I post what I like, what I find value in, and what I'd like to introduce others to. I'm not out to please everyone, but I always hope that folks will respect what I have to offer because I have a reason for doing it.

    There'll probably be no more Bieber (unless he puts out another album with stuff I enjoy) but I definitely have some Spanish language music coming up eventually--I have a lot of those in my line-up.

    So thanks for the prayers and for putting me in the spotlight even though you tried to stick a funny hat on me. I wear it with pride. I kind of like funny hats actually. Must be the show biz in me.

    Back and ready to offer up more interesting BoTB posts.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

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  9. Oh, and thanks for the phone call. That was so totally cool!

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

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    1. LEE ~

      >>... There'll probably be no more Bieber

      Well, for your sake I hope not, as I now have ROCCO on speed-dial.

      >>... but I definitely have some Spanish language music coming up eventually--I have a lot of those in my line-up.

      I like that. Works for me.

      Glad yer back home and improving!

      ~ D-FensDogG

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  10. Aw gee, I'm still trying to get over how sexy Michael Douglas looks in a crew cut!

    You know, when you first texted me about Lee, I was watching a video from Adrian Rogers, called, "Five Minutes After Death." It's a super video. Hope you Google it and watch.

    Your text messages seemed a bit 'scattered, covered and smothered,' so I kept my replies simple and upbeat (I hope they were.)

    From my perspective and observation, Lee loves the Lord... I'm happy he's a friend! Now I'm off to leave him a comment on his battle result.

    Thank you for keeping me informed. Bless your heart, I know you were experiencing some pain throughout this.

    Btw, only Lee could do 'Beiber' with any dignity, huh? Am I right?

    Polka-tails

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    1. DIXIE "PIGTAILS" POLKA ~
      Hmmm.... I had no idea Michael Douglas was sexy in ANYTHING. I guess I'm just more of a Yul Brynner guy.

      I haven't seen that Adrian Rogers sermon yet, but I definitely will make it a point to seek it out. Thanks for the recommendation.

      >>... 'scattered, covered and smothered,'

      Why do I suddenly feel as if I'm in a Waffle House or Cracker Barrel restaurant? :o)

      >>... only Lee could do 'Beiber' with any dignity, huh? Am I right?

      Uhm... So... how 'bout them Dodgers?!

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

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    2. Don't dodge the question McCarthy! Dixie, you are exactly right. I pulled off the Bieber Battles with dignity and smarts. I am a genius of BOTB and Stephen knows darn well and he just won't admit it. Just wait to see some of my upcoming Battles!

      Arlee Bird
      Tossing It Out

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