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Welcome back, my friends, to the "Battle" that never ends.
We're so glad you could attend. Come inside! Come inside!
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This is 'BATTLE OF THE BANDS' ('BOTB') where you listen to different recordings of the same song and vote for the one you like best. A new Battle gets posted on the 15th of each month and six days later, on the 21st, I place my own vote, tally 'em all up and announce the winner.
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Friend? Foe? Stranger? No matter, ALL are welcome. So pull up a chair, pour yourself 24 oz. of 'DOG BITE High Gravity Lager' (or the poison of your choice) and turn it up to Eleven!
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[NOTE: Links to the first year of 'BOTB' (#1 - #24) can be found at the very bottom of this page.]

Sunday, December 13, 2015

HAVE A HOLLY, JOLLY KWANZAA (Or, HAVE A HOLLY, JOLLY KWANZAA, DOGG)

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Yo, YOU & YOUETTE ~

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas Something.

Being an equal opportunity offender, next year I will pick on the White Christians, or the Brown Hispanics, or the Yellow Asians, or the Emotional Womens, or... no one... because I might not feel like it. Sue me.

Well, we'll see... 

But with Barack Obummer in the White Grey House, this year, it's time to pick on Kwanzaa. Yeah, Kwanzaa, that 100% artificially created fake holiday celebrating Black Power (aka Malcolm X-ism, aka Socialism, aka Communism, aka Evil). Hokey-Smoke and Hoo-Wee! When even "Wackypedia" gets it right, you KNOW it's beyond Leftist propaganda spin! And how often does THAT happen, Cat, Rat, Shat, Dogg?!




"Get a day job!... Get a day job!... 
Get a day job!... Get a day job!..."

"CRACK A 40" by Roach Gigz (or... something else equally literate like that, Cat, Rat, Shat, Dogg)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8yRV8wIKGI 


Have a holly, jolly Kwanzaa
It's the Black time of the year
I don't know if there'll be Blow 
But crack that 40 here.

Have a holly, jolly Kwanzaa

And when you strut thru the hood
Say "Hey, yo!" to friends you owe
But not to those be good

Oh, sho, the hood's best ho 

Flaunts so you can see
Some cop, he waits for you
Cap him once for me

Have a holly, jolly Kwanzaa
And in case you're out of jail
Oh, mofo, have you a holly, jolly Kwanzaa
With ale

When I was a young, drunk, White guy hanging out with "The League Of Soul Crusaders", we called those big beer bottles "Buzz Bombs". But leave it to our less alliterative, less creative street Bruhthuhs, to name them after the number of ounces they contain: "40s".

40 ounces of beer in the bomb, 40 ounces of beer. You steal one down and pass it around... 39 ounces of beer in the bomb. 39 ounces of beer in the bomb, 39 ounces of beer...

Yeah, working more than 62 hours per week, I'm starting to get pissed off. And right at "The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year".

~ D-FensDogG
'Loyal American Underground'

10 comments:

  1. lol the take on the Christmas song was awesome. Maybe I should go pull a holiday out my ass so I can get some more gifts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PAT ~
      Ha!-Ha! Why not, man? Go ahead and pull a holiday out of yer ass. I mean if Ronald ("McDonald") McKinley Everett (aka Maulana Ndabezitha Karenga) can do it, so can you (or anybody else).

      The guy went and totally fucked up his name, and then expected sane Americans to adopt the holiday he pulled from his ass?

      Of course, we will always have some mental rejects who will fall for shit like that, but what pisses me off is that you'll find "Kwanzaa" printed on many calendars, and even the United Postal Service has treated this phony 1965 bullshit as if it's a real... "thang".

      Fuck, man, I hope I die soon, because with each passing year I find "this world" more and more unbearable! Oh, God!!! Get me outta here!

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete
  2. Are you saying there's no Kwanzaa Klaus? Boo-hoo! I need a safe space where I can go and heal.

    Kwanzaa must be real. There's a stamp to prove it. I've always wondered how sales are for those Kwanzaa and Eid stamps were.

    I've had jobs where I worked 62 or more hours each week, but that's when I was younger and could work a lot, still party, and barely notice that I was tired. They were also jobs that I liked. You can tolerate something a lot more when you really like it a lot. You deserve better than what you got now.

    Maybe you can become Kwanzaa Klaus and make promises that you don't follow through on and give people stuff that other people have to pay for.

    Arlee Bird
    Wrote By Rote

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lee, it sounds to me like Oprah Winfrey needs to invent a Support Group to help alleviate the suffering of you folk who are grieving over the discovery that there's no Kwanzaa Klaus. Ha!-Ha!

      Take heart! There may be no K.K. but there IS a KKK. (I jest! No person on this planet is less racist than I am!)

      >>... Maybe you can become Kwanzaa Klaus and make promises that you don't follow through on and give people stuff that other people have to pay for.

      Oh, man! One Barack Obama is already one-too-many!

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete
  3. Stephen, believe it or not, I didn't know that Kwanzaa was a "made up" holiday until DH told me the truth. I'm with you, my friend, I am not racist at all and fail to see why there needs to be such a holiday. Of course, if you're a liberal (aka communist/socialist) then every day needs celebrating because these individuals are getting what they want at other people's expense. This is crazy madness! If I can have just one Christmas wish it would be for liberalism to disappear off the face of the planet beginning right here in the good ole USA. Try taking it easy on the work schedule. You might give someone the impression that you're a greedy capitalist. :D Merry Christmas, my friend! I'll hop back over tomorrow to see what you have in store for us on BOTB!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha!-Ha! CATHY, you made me GOL (Guffaw-Out-Loud). Yeah, I sure don't want anyone thinking I'm a "greedy Capitalist".

      Come to think of it, is there any other kind of Capitalist? Why does the word "greedy" always precede "Capitalist"? I propose that we might as well make them one word from now on: greedycapitalist.

      And by the way, free-enterprise Capitalism is a really good idea. I think we should try it in this country sometime. It hasn't existed in the USA since 1913.

      Who is DH? Is that your husband, or another blogger?

      Kwanzaa was invented as an alternative to Christmas for radical Black people.

      And, yes, you are right: Liberalism is Socialism, and Socialism is Communism. But "Communism" has become a dirty word (thank you "Uncle Joe" Stalin!), and the Americonned Sheeple have become so dumbed-down that most of them couldn't even define the principles of "Socialism" - have no idea what it really means. So, here in Amerika we now just call it "Liberalism" (or "the Democrat Party"), and everybody accepts it as just another form of the "the American Way".

      Is it getting hot in here? Or is it just my temper rising?

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
  4. ...In Black Jesus's name we pray, amen.

    You know, it's funny, Kwanzaa being considered a national holiday. Like you mentioned, it's on almost every calendar. It's nationally recognized by the post office. And yet... I don't know a single person who celebrates it. I have black friends. Hell, I have black family. They think Kwanzaa is a joke. So... just who the hell is celebrating this?

    ~6B

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 6-B ~
      I sure hope that's non-GMO, vegan weed that Black Jesus is smokin'. Get that Jesus a surfboard! (No. Never mind. I remember Smokin' Joe Frazier in a swimming pool. [Google it!] Let us not promote the drowning death of Black Jesus.)

      According to Wackypedia, Kwanzaa is no longer recognized by many people. Of course that won't keep it off our calendars.

      I've known a lot of Black people. I've had some Black friends, and my favorite Grandma was half-Black. (Her "left" half, obviously!) And I've only known ONE person who I think might have, maybe did, perhaps could have celebrated Kwanzaa. He made mention of it once in passing, and because he didn't snicker when he said it, I suspected he might have approved of it. I didn't pursue the topic though because he was truly a friend whom I did not wish to kill during the Kwanzaa seas-- I mean, during the CHRISTmas season.

      ~ D-FensDogG

      Delete
  5. Who wrote those red and green lyrics? Sounds a bit like you but I'll go with Burt Bacharach.

    Wishing you a Merry Yakuza!

    Sig40 (hours per week)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SIG40-TWO
      Ha! I wrote the lyrics, but Burt did give me an assist once or twice when I ran into writer's block.

      HEY! I was so sorry I didn't get a chance to reply to anyone's comments on my last BOTB. On this next one (posting tomorrow), I'll do better because I'm only working 42.5 hours this week. (Wow! What a concept! Work AND A LIFE, TOO!)

      But I wanted you to know that I loved, Loved, LOVED the reference to Cheech y Chong's 'SANTA CLAUS AND HIS OLD LADY'. I didn't want you to think that it went unnoticed. I caught it immediately and laughed-out-loud! Well played, Sig, well played.

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete

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