ON THE ROAD AGAIN (Or, ME, LYNTH AND THE BEACH REPORT!)

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As those of you who know know, I had a birthday a few days ago. Having been born in the classic year of '59, that makes me currently 59. (Cool how that works out, eh?)
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Here's a T-shirt birthday gift that my sister, Bonehead, gave to me back around when I turned 39:
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I ALWAYS wear that shirt on my birthdays... when I remember to (which, oddly enough, seems to happen less frequently the older I get).
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FUN FACT: One reason 1959 is such a classic year (aside from the fact that I was born in it) is because it marked the largest tail fins ever put on a car -- the '59 Cadillac.
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.'59  CADILLAC  &  80-PROOF  FRIENDS.

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That '59 Caddy pictured above (with bottles of Whiskey, Brandy, Gin & Vodka in the trunk) belonged to my old buddy, Cranium, back in Bay Street's 'The League Of Soul Crusaders' era (1981-1984). The car had no reverse, so any time we needed to back up (which was rare, as we were usually going forward "pedal to the metal"), we boys would have to climb out and push that behemoth backwards.
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Cranium had a job (more like a vacation) working the Santa Monica Beach parking lots. He'd put on his little straw hat, and then set up his ancient school desk and plastic mascot dog (Nipper) at the entrance of the lot and start collecting money. Sometimes Cranium's buddies, The League Of Soul Crusaders (Torch, Twinkie, Nappy, Pooh and me), would visit him on the job and bring him a beer or two. We'd just cruise along the beach parking lots until we saw Nipper sitting at the entrance of one of them.
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Now speaking of cruising and "pedal to the metal", for a great many years I used to imagine having a compact disc of what I considered to be the all-time greatest tunes to drive to -- whether fast (Pedal To The Metal) or slow (Cruise Control). I had definite ideas about which sorts of songs had the necessary beat / rhythm making them ideal for hearing behind-the-wheel.
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Well, just recently, my good friend and beer brother, Julio Seis-Abeja (you know him as Bryan), who has skills when it comes to computers and techno stuffs, made my dream a reality. And it just happened to coincide with my recent birthday, so I'm thinking of these compact discs as birthday gifts for a young old guy (namely: STMcC).
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.MUDDY  (not  Nipper)  WITH  2  OF  MY  BIRTHDAY  GIFTS.

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Yes, I know those look like professional, commercial-quality compact discs, but that's just the sort of work that Julio (Down By The Trainyard) does. How freaking awesome is THAT?! I knew he was creating these CDs for me, but when they arrived and I opened the box and saw what they looked like, my jaw fell open!
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I had personally selected the songs and the order they would be presented in, but Trainyard Julio did all the amazing artistic packaging. I was just expecting some plain-looking home-recorded CDs. I had no idea they were going to look A-list & E-Ticket professional (and then some!)
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Those song listings are small and probably difficult to read, so I'll provide them below:
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'ON THE ROAD AGAIN: Pedal To The Metal' (for faster daytime driving)
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RADAR LOVE - Golden Earring
PEACE FROG - The Doors
BORN TO BE WILD - Steppenwolf
OH, WELL - The Rockets
TRAIN KEPT A-ROLLIN' - Aerosmith
TAKE IT EASY - The Eagles
CHINA GROVE - The Doobie Brothers
T FOR TEXAS - Lynyrd Skynyrd (live)
SHAKIN' - Eddie Money
WHOSE CADILLAC IS THAT? - War
LUST FOR LIFE - Iggy Pop
HIGHWAY STAR - Deep Purple
SPACE PHUQIN' TRUCKIN' - Deep Purple
RUNNIN' DOWN A DREAM - Tom Petty
ROCKIN' DOWN THE HIGHWAY - The Doobie Brothers
MOVIN' DOWN LIFE - Golden Earring
GOING MOBILE - The Who
HANG ON, SAINT CHRISTOPHER - Tom Waits
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Although 'Peace Frog' is probably my favorite song on that list (however, obviously I dig every one of them), without any question whatsoever, I KNEW the CD had to begin with 'Radar Love'. It just did, that's all. No Q about that!
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Too late did I realize that there was one extremely egregious omission: 'Frankenstein' by The Edgar Winter Group. But trying to figure out what to remove in order to make room for it would have made my brain explode.
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For me, the songs 'Shakin'' and 'Whose Cadillac Is That?' are strongly associated with The League Of Soul Crusaders and those fantastic years of the early 1980s. The authentic 1950s diner, RAE'S, which appears in Eddie Money's 'Shakin'' video, is a place that we Soul Crusaders regularly conducted B.C. Meetings (Breakfast Club Meetings) all hungover 'n' shit. We liked the "bithkith 'n' gravy" at RAE'S:
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SHAKIN' -- Eddie Money
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tcD_dVcXE4

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Blood stains the roofs and the palm trees of Venice
Blood in my love in the terrible Summer
Bloody red Sun of fantastic L.A. ...
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PEACE FROG -- The Doors.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-UUX-H6WUw

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HANG ON, SAINT CHRISTOPHER -- Tom Waits.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBqFq0c1ANU

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'ON THE ROAD AGAIN: Cruise Control' (for late night driving)
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ARE YOU GOING WITH ME? - Pat Metheny Group (live)
RIDERS ON THE STORM - The Doors
THE CAPTAIN OF HER HEART - Double
SARAH'S CRIME - Toshi Hinata
BUMPIN' ON SUNSET - Brian Auger's Oblivion Express (live)
GREEN ONIONS - Booker T & The MGs
LOW RIDER - War
SLOW RIDE - Foghat
T FOR TEXAS - Tompall Glaser
ON THE ROAD AGAIN - Willie Nelson
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SARAH'S CRIME -- Toshi Hinata
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1w8a_lfvGY

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'ME, LYNTH AND THE BEACH REPORT!'
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And as if what he had already done wasn't awesome enough, Trainyard Julio did something for me even (unbelievably!) better!!
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To this day, I don't remember what prompted me to do this. Heck, I'm not sure that I EVER knew what prompted me to do it! But back in September of 1985, I was living in the Los Angeles area (the beach town of Santa Monica -- also known as "Dogtown"), and I got the idea to put a 90-minute cassette into my tape deck and start recording stuffs from off the radio. I'd just hit the "Record" button and then start turning the radio dial, running across the various stations until I found a song I wanted to record. When the song ended, I'd start turning the radio dial again until I found something else I was inspired to stop at. I think I did this over the course of a few days or so.
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As a result, I wound up with a cassette tape filled with songs (from the 1950s, '60s, '70s, and '80s -- up to September of '85), and radio advertisements, traffic reports, disc jockeys talking to listeners who called into the station, a smidgen of an L.A. Dodgers' baseball game, and a weather report from a lifeguard at Santa Monica Beach. (I even captured the voice of my longtime fantasy gal, "Carmelita", being broadcasted from a radio station in Tijuana, Mexico.)
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After I'd filled the tape (which appropriately ran out while Jim Morrison was singing 'L.A. Woman'), I made a cover illustration for it by cutting up a post card of L.A.'s Westwood Village and slipping it into the plastic cassette case. I called it 'Me, Lynth And The Beach Report!' (M,L&TBR). "Lynth" was another nickname for my Soul Crusaders buddy "Pooh". I recall him stopping by to see me one day in September of '85 while I was in the process of creating that tape, and so I tossed his name into the title when it was completed.
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Over the past 33 years, I'd listened to that tape only about 5 or maybe 6 times. And it had been so long since I'd heard it (well over a decade!) that I couldn't really recall anything that was on it when I decided to pop it into my cassette player this past March. I was blown away by it! It was like stepping into Mr. Peabody & Sherman's 'Waybac Machine' and being dropped right into 1985. I felt as if I had time-traveled like Richard Collier in the movie 'Somewhere In Time'.
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I got hooked on that cassette and started playing it repeatedly for the next few months. But each time I did, I was a little worried that the 33-year-old tape might finally break, and what was on it was literally "irreplaceable". As I told Julio:
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"I think M,L&TBR is exactly the way it was 'meant' to be, and it's the best thing I ever created. If I collected in one place all of the drawings and paintings I ever did, all of the acting I ever did, all of the things I ever wrote -- including manuscripts, poetry, short stories, blog bits, and my screenplay -- I don't think it would equal M,L&TBR. Somehow, without really even putting much thought into it, and basically just trying to entertain myself, I feel like I created something kind of special. Even great."
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Well, guess what Trainyard Julio did! He borrowed my cassette tape and recorded the entire thing on two compact discs for me. Now I can play it as often as I want, and I can replay certain portions of it over and over and over again without any worry that in an instant the whole thing could be lost forever.
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"But, no! But, no! But, no!" (as Pooh used to say). Julio didn't just electronically preserve 'Me, Lynth And The Beach Report' on CDs. He did it in the same awesomely A-list & E-Ticket professional manner that he created my 'On The Road Again' CDs!!! Take a look at THIS!...
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ORIGINAL  CASSETTE  &  CDs,  WITH  COVER  AND  TAPE  NOTES  DUPLICATED

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When someone does something THAT spectacular for you, you better-gotta publicly acknowledge it! There is NO WAY I could have failed to say: "Hey, World, look at THIS!!"
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Julio Seis-Abeja, you are E-Ticket, Brother!

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1: I thank you! 2: I thank you!! (Two Witnesses)
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The greatest gift I ever received in my life was Spiritual. It came from Christ Yeshua: Baptism, Salvation from my sins, and a Pre-Approved Ticket to Paradise. But Me, Lynth And The Beach Report on compact discs is among those physical gifts that get filed under 'An Old Timer's All-Timers'. That's where you'd find Muddy & The Hula Girls and only a few other items.
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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