2016, JAN. 15: BATTLE OF THE BANDS (Or, FLEETWOOD MAC VS. THE ROCKETS - Take Two)

Republican Vs. Democrat, Male Vs. Female, War Vs. Peace, Light Vs. Dark, Good Vs. Evil, Man Vs. Machine, Love Vs. Hate, Dog Vs. Cat, Sun Vs. Moon, Brain Vs. Brawn, Oscar Vs. Grammy, Angel Vs. Demon, Laurel Vs. Hardy, Beer Vs. Wine, TV Vs. Radio, Pitcher Vs. Batter, Paper Vs. Plastic, Reality Vs. Fantasy, Yeshua Vs. Beelzebub, Conservative Vs. Liberal, You Vs. Me, House Vs. Senate, Offense Vs. Defense, Kramer Vs. Kramer, Spy Vs. Spy, Fischer Vs. Spassky, W.C. Fields Vs. Sobriety, Harold Gimpy, Jr. Vs. Sheldon J. Pismire, Rock Vs. Paper Vs. Scissors, Islam Vs. Everything, Singer Vs. Singer, Band Vs. Band...

BATTLE OF THE BANDS! (‘BOTB’)

Shoop-Shooby –

Shooby-duh-Dooby-Doop-Dooby-Dooby-Doo-Wah –

Buh-Doo-Wah!

Yes, it’s time once again for ‘Battle Of The Bands’ (‘BOTB’)

Alright, let’s get on it...

EUGENE  MARTONE  VS.  JACK  BUTLER

Today marks the 60th installment of 'Battle Of The Bands' and I've never missed a single one. Not a single one.

As most of you know, it's kinda funny that BOTB has become a pretty popular bi-monthly blogfest considering it was never intended to be a blogfest at all. It's just something that FAE and I decided to do every 1st and 15th but music-lovers embraced the concept so much that they began asking if they could join us. 

Constructing a competitive and interesting music Battle is not a science, it's an art, and experience is the best teacher. A new BOTBer today has an advantage, as they can look at the contests of other participants and use their Battles as a template, general guide, or essential inspiration. Nevertheless, the most important lessons they would learn the same way we all did: trial and error. But the experience of others would be a help.

When FAE and I first started BOTB, we were at a disadvantage because we were making it up from scratch as we went along. And I know that I made some rookie mistakes in those early Battles. 

GOODNIKS  VS.  NO-GOODNIKS

This being BOTB #60, and 60 sometimes representing a full revolution (as on the face of a clock), I've decided to go back to nearly the beginning and "redo" my second ever 'Battle Of The Bands' contest. You see, being a BOTB neophyte at that time, I may have inadvertently corrupted the outcome of that contest.

I was so worried that one of the two bands might get shutout that I kind of overhyped the band that I considered to be the underdog. In the end, to my utter amazement, the underdog blew the other band away, and only my own vote saved "the favorite" (in my mind) from a shutout.

THAT, ladies and gentlemen, was the first of many great surprises that BOTB has treated me to. But I've always wondered how that Battle might have turned out if I hadn't weighted my commentary so strongly toward the underdog band. A total of only 11 votes were cast in my second Battle, and today there are so many more and newer BOTB participants that I feel I can "replay" that old one and it will seem new to most, giving me an idea whether or not I really accidentally had a hand in determining the original outcome.

Please don't go back and review the original Battle, as I will give you every li'l detail about it when I post the results for 'Fleetwood Mac Versus The Rockets, Take 2' here on January 21st. 
 

GODZILLA  VS.  KING  KONG

When we think of Fleetwood Mac, we think of that Super-Pop group who scored major hits with songs like 'Dreams', 'Go Your Own Way', and 'You Make Loving Fun'. But that band went through many personnel changes over the years, and before Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks joined it, Fleetwood Mac was a Peter Green-led Blues-Rock band with no Top 40 hits to their credit. 

One of the earlier songs from the Blues-Rock era of Fleetwood Mac was titled 'OH WELL'. Let's hear it...

'OH WELL'... by Fleetwood Mac
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJMTLtZ4GSU

 

RIDDLER  VS.  BATMAN

In 1979, a One-Hit Wonder band out of Detroit, Michigan, called The Rockets scored their one Top 40 hit (it climbed to #30 on the Billboard chart) with a cover version of the Fleetwood Mac original, 'Oh Well'.

Let's hear it...

'OH WELL'... by The Rockets
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzazgG-y7uM


Alright now, “you know the gig”... I welcome you (whoever you are) to vote for your favorite of these songs in the comment section below. And feel free to tell us WHY you chose one song over the other. 

After voting here, I suggest - actually I insist - you pop over to the blogs of the other 'BATTLE OF THE BANDS' participants to see which songs they have chosen and vote there also. (If their ‘BOTB’ blog bits aren’t posted yet, pour yourself two shots of ‘Grand Marnier’ over ice – do it twice – and then return to their blogs to vice your voice ...vote your vice ...voice your vote.)

Voice Your Vote @ ‘FAR AWAY SERIES’ by clicking HERE.
@ ‘TOSSING IT OUT’ by clicking HERE.
@ ‘YOUR DAILY DOSE’ by clicking HERE.
@ 'BOOK LOVER' by clicking HERE.
@ 'MIKE'S RAMBLINGS' by clicking HERE.
@ 'CURIOUS AS A CATHY' by clicking HERE.
@ 'THE SOUND OF ONE HAND TYPING' by clicking HERE.
@ 'DCRELIEF - BATTLE OF THE BANDS' by clicking HERE.
@ 'THE DOGLADY'S DEN' by clicking HERE.
@ 'CHERDO ON THE FLIPSIDE' by clicking HERE. 
@ 'ANGELS BARK' by clicking HERE.
@ 'JINGLE JANGLE JUNGLE' by clicking HERE.
@ 'JANIE JUNEBUG, RIGHTING & EDITING' by clicking HERE.
@ 'J.A. SCOTT' by clicking HERE.
@ 'NOVELBREWS' by clicking HERE.
@ 'QUIET LAUGHTER' by clicking HERE. 
@ 'BE REINVINTAGED' by clicking HERE.
@ 'HOLLI'S HOOTS & HOLLERS' by clicking HERE. 

As I've done in the past, I will continue to return to my 'BOTB' blog bits on the 7th and 21st of each month to post my own votes and announce the winners in the comment sections.

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME RESULTS? BOTB RESULTS?!

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STMcC’s Vote On '2016, January 1st: Battle Of The Bands'
(Or, 'Johnny Horton Vs. Hank "Bocephus" Williams, Jr.')
And The Final Tally, with additional stuffs I wanna yak at ya:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmQFz3WugQE


This is gonna be kinda "windy". Apologies to Oh Donna right from the get-go.

Well, first of all, as always, HUGE, SINCERE THANKS to each and every one of you who took the time to listen, comment and vote! This was a fun Battle for me and I enjoyed so many of the amusing and entertaining comments. This one was a blast and a lighthearted way to start my new 'Battle Of The Bands' (BOTB) year.

It was also kind of painful because I'm forced to vote against one of the two recordings I put against each other. I love both of these songs so much and have personal history with each of them. This is one BOTB contest that I WISH had ended in a TIE. Now that I have to vote, I'm sorry I put Johnny Horton's 'THE BATTLE OF NEW ORLEANS' against Hank Williams, Jr.'s 'THE BALLAD OF HANK WILLIAMS'. (Why do I sometimes make these Battles so tough on me?)

For those not in the know, my brother Nappy also plays the part of Judge Al Bondigas in my comment sections, and the Judge Al role was inspired by Judge Roy Bean (Walter Brennan). In my 59th BOTB installment (click HERE), Judge Al wrote: " I love the 'Ballad of Hank Williams' as much as you do. ... We have so much fun using lines from that song in our conversations and in our texts that it actually makes me a little sad not rulin' in its favor. ... Last week I thought I was going to rule for Bocephus, but, after much internal deliberating in my chambers, this judge had to rule with sound judgement, seasoned wisdom and moral clarity. Johnny Horton gets my vote. That's it!! That's my rulin'."

This makes me sad, too. But the ironic part is that last week I thought I was going to vote for Johnny Horton, but in the 11th hour (yeah, it went "up to eleven"), I decided to cast my bittersweet vote for Bocephus. In these really super-tough Battles for me, I have to resort to a trick in order to find my vote. I ask myself: "If God said you could only hear one of these two recordings for the rest of your life, which would it be?" That helps me to find the bottom line.

And my reasoning was this: As much as I love 'THE BATTLE OF NEW ORLEANS' (it's an A+), I've heard it a godzillion times and know every word. But I can listen to 'THE BALLAD OF HANK WILLIAMS' and still kinda-sorta get to hear '...New Orleans', but I also get entertained to the max. As many times as I've played it, 'TBOHW' still makes me laugh... every... single... time! And I just can't imagine never again getting to hear those hilarious exchanges between Hank and Don Helms. That gets a grade of "R" - the highest my grading scale goes up to (even higher than eleven!)

Nappy / Judge Al and I grew up with 'TBONO'. It was our Ma who introduced us to it, and we have drunk to it. Oh yes we have! It's got a great beat and you can drink to it!

But it was I who introduced Nappy to 'TBOHW'. And I think that may have been in 2008, when we were on vacation together (click: 'NOTES  FROM  AN  UNNOTEWORTHY  VACATION' and scroll down to the Monday, Sept. 15, 2008 entry.) 

In some ways, you couldn't find two people more different than brother Nappy and I are. But in other ways, we're like brothers separated at birth two dogs from the same litter litre. When it comes to recognizing good movies and very quotable lines, we're chugging from the same "knock-you-naked Margarita mix!" His movie recommendations are the only ones I trust 100%. And he and I have a weird knack for picking up on the same lines to quote over and over again. (We both know that the majority of the time, it's not the words themselves that matter, but it's HOW those words are said that makes 'em memorable.)

About 'TBOHW', he'd written: "We have so much fun using lines from that song in our conversations and in our texts."

He was referring primarily to the "Right, right" that Don Helms says at the very end of that song.  And knowing for months that I was going to use this song in this Battle, I saved some old real texts to share with y'all in this Results post:

OCTOBER 3, 2015
STMcC: U gonna watch 'The Thin Man' with us tonight at 7PM?
NAPPY: Yeah.
STMcC: Cool. ...So the drinking begins again at 7PM tonight, eh? It's the law! Did you download the movie yet? It takes awhile.
NAPPY: Doing it now.
S: Drinking, downloading, or both?
N: Ha Ha. Downloading, not down and loaded.
S: U been down and loaded? "Say it ain't so, Joe!"
N: Most of my life. I don't ever want to feel like I did in this life. 

[*This was a reference to my 53rd BOTB installment, a two-fer - Song & Video - featuring David & David vs. The Red Hot Chili Peppers*]

S: Now you know how I'm voting on this BOTB.
N: Yeah, I got you figgered out. Song: RHCP. Video: D&D.
S: Right X 2. ...Oops! I meant to say "Right, right".
N: Ha
S: You mean: Ha! Ha!
N: Right, right
S: Ha! Ha! (Monty Python? Pikers!)

Here's a shorter recent one:

DEC. 23, 2015
S: Who u predict will win the battle, Horton or Bocephus?
N: Hmmm. Not sure. Maybe Horton because it's a classic.
S: Should be a close Battle. But some people tend to vote what they know ("Familiarity Factor"), so Horton has that advantage. But if everyone gives both an honest chance, this should be a photo-finish.
N: Right, right. 

So, who DID win and just how close WAS it?

Johnny Horton = 14 Votes
Hank Williams, Jr. = 10 Votes

Not a photo-finish, but pretty dern close! Thanks all y'all, for voting and making this so much fun for me! A pretty nice turnout for a holiday-time Battle. I hope you'll all be back for my January 15th BOTB installment in which I will be doing something that no other BOTBer has done before. Uncharted musical notes.

In other unrelated news...

It seems my work schedule has finally been changed to what I was promised it would be back before Thanksgiving. Phew! So, finally, all you who feel I've been neglecting your blogs, your comments, and neglecting to Email you (because I HAVE been!), know that this should be changing soon.

Pretty soon, with more free time coming, I'm going to begin a Spiritual project, which I have ingeniously named "The Spiritual Project" (or equally creatively shortened to "TSP"). I'm going to try to find God again. (It seems He got lost somehow and hasn't been able to find His way back to me.)

In order to do this, I need to purify the temple of my body and detoxify my liver. So, last night, I stopped in at what has become one of my all-time Top Ten favorite bars - ROXY'S LOUNGE at Reno's Eldorado Hotel & Casino - and I said my "goodbye". It was kind of sad. I had a Mojito and a 'Dirty Dirty Pike' (a Martini that I partially invented at Roxy's). A classy place with great drinks, great music, and friendly, real bartenders (not just beer-pourers!)

'ROXY'S  LOUNGE:  ONE  OF  MY  TOP  10  FAVORITE  BARS  EVER.

And by the way, you remember my 52nd BOTB contest in which Duke Ellington and Nancy Wilson ended up in a tie over the song 'SATIN DOLL'? Well, that Battle occurred to me and was inspired by the piano player at Roxy's Lounge. Thanks to Gil, the cool, mafioso-looking man behind the keys.

Tonight I'll have a little Grand Marnier over ice in my special silver GraMar cup while I watch 'HEAVEN CAN WAIT' (1943) and 'TOMBSTONE' (1993) back-to-back, and figure out which one is going to make my '25 Favorite Movies' list. And after that, the purification process begins.

Buttermilk and Jesus, here I come!

~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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2016, JAN. 1: BATTLE OF THE BANDS (Or, JOHNNY HORTON VS. HANK WILLIAMS, JR.)

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Allah's Unholy Trousers! I haven't been this relieved to see a year end and a new one begin since 1986! 2015 was disastrous for me, and that's being charitable. It started with such high hopes and ended with me working unholy hours, sick as a dog, and crawling toward the Finish Line. I thank God it's finished!
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I'm sorry I've been bad 'bout visiting yer blogs lately, but the above paragraph is my (honest) excuse. I'm sure to do better from now on.

This being my first 'BATTLE OF THE BANDS' (BOTB) contest of the new year, falling on New Year's Day (better known in these parts as "MARGARITA DAY: A Tradition Since 1986, except for 1994"), I wanted to begin with something .F-U-N..

In 1959, 'THE BATTLE OF NEW ORLEANS' was a Billboard #1 hit for Country music singer Johnny Horton. My Ma really liked the song and purchased the 45 rpm single of it, which Brother Nappy, Sister Bonehead, and I really loved. My Ma may have bought the record, but we kids played it the most. And it seemed like I spent endless hours studying the cartoon illustrations on the record sleeve as a child.

'The Cattleman's Bar And Grill' no longer exists in the location and in the form I knew and loved it back in 1993/'94 (if in fact it exists at all). It used to be a grungy but atmospheric and character-ridden Real Man's joint near the corner of Cortez and Willis Streets in Prescott, Arizona. It was one of my Top 7 favorite bars of all time! And, yes, I've been in more than a countless "few".
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Later, after I moved back to L.A., 'The Cattleman's' moved several blocks away and tried to become a respectable steakhouse. It died in April, 2012. Someone tried to reopen it in December of 2012. Not sure how that worked out.

'THE  CATTLEMAN'S'  AS  I  KNEW  AND  LOVED  IT.  PHOTO  OF  A  PHOTO,  LOOKING  ALONG  THE  BAR TOWARD  THE  FRONT  DOOR.

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The 'Cattleman's' was just a very narrow hole-in-the-wall joint where the scent of cooking steaks from the back of the place used to tempt even me – a vegetarian since 1985.  It was a real working-man’s, local hangout, not the sort of place where you’d find tourists or people looking for 'Sex On The Beach'. There was no sex and no beach, just cheap beer on tap, wine from Modesto and the aroma of grilling meat mingling with the scent of spilt whiskey. My kind of place.

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On weekend nights in the early 1990s, the owner, Chuck, would often bring in his impressive collection of old 45 rpm hit singles and play them on a cheap record player. One night my brother Nappy and I were in the Cattleman’s and it was a sad old crowd that had gathered on this particular evening. The owner was spinning his records but no one was paying any attention and no one, it seemed, was having any fun. The moon and stars were out of alignment or something. It was a depressing crowd.

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Then somehow, Nappy and I got it into our minds that we wanted to hear the song 'The Battle Of New Orleans' by Johnny Horton. We asked Chuck if he had that single. He said he thought maybe he did, but fifteen minutes later he still hadn’t played it. So we asked him again if he would find it and he said he’d look. But again some time passed and he hadn’t played it. So Nappy and I pestered him yet again, and this time - probably fed up with hearing from us about it - Chuck made an earnest search through his collection and finally found the song we’d been requesting.

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From the moment that Johnny Horton’s 'The Battle Of New Orleans' began to play, that whole damn bar came completely to life! It was almost like an explosion of life force, as nearly every customer in the place began singing along to the song and clapping their hands or banging their glasses and beer bottles on the bar in time with the martial beat of the song! I never saw a sleepy little bar come so abruptly to life before. Nappy and I had inadvertently struck the Mother Lode of bar songs!

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It was that experience that gave me the idea that Johnny Horton’s 'The Battle Of New Orleans' might be the most (or at least one of the most) universally liked songs in the U.S.A. and that no song will wake up a sleepy American bar faster than those words "In 1814, we took a little trip..."

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In early 2008, I started a [link-->] discussion thread at Amazon.scum proposing this very idea, and it was through that discussion thread that I virtually "met" and developed friendships with Mr. Sheboyganboy Six, and Lee Jackson who later became the blogger known as Arlee Bird of ‘Tossing It Out’. 

I was banned by Amazon.scum, and soon afterwards, I started blogging. Arlee decided to take up blogging after seeing that I had and the idea of it appealed to him. So, if you know and like Arlee Bird, you probably have the song 'The Battle Of New Orleans' to thank for that.
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Both videos presented below are cleverly made, but remember that this Battle is all about the audio and not about the visuals.

OK, let's hear the song that gave you Arlee Bird:
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In 1814, we took a little trip

Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip

We took a little bacon and we took a little beans

And we caught the bloody British in the town of New Orleans...

'THE BATTLE OF NEW ORLEANS' by Johnny Horton

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50_iRIcxsz0

You may not be familiar with the name DON HELMS, but you can be sure that all Country musicians and major Country music fans are! Helms was the steel guitarist of the 'Drifting Cowboys' band which backed Hank Williams and played a significant part in Hank's sound which played such a monumental part in the development of the classic Country sound.

Bill Lloyd, the curator of stringed instruments at the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum, said of Don Helms' guitar style and sound: “It is the quintessential honky-tonk steel sound — tuneful, aggressive, full of attitude.”

And of course we all know it was HANK WILLIAMS who essentially created the template for the hard-drinking, Country music hellion persona. No one drank more and raised more hell than Hank Williams did. (His son, HANK "BOCEPHUS" WILLIAMS, JR., probably comes pretty close though. I attended one of his Los Angeles concerts in 1994, and Hank Williams, Jr., seemed to really enjoy performing. He may have even been drunker'n I was - and, hell, I was loaded up on El Coyote's legendary, high-octane Margaritas!)

'THE  EL  COYOTE'  MARGARITA:  EVEN  WARREN  ZEVON  FOUND  IT NOTEWORTHY!

'EL  COYOTE  MARGARITA ':  LIVING  DEATH  BY  CANDLELIGHT.

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After Hank Williams died in 1953, Mr. Don Helms embarked on a long career as a performer and songwriter. His guitar can be heard on the Patsy Cline hit "Walking After Midnight." In his later years, he did recording sessions with younger musicians like Rascal Flatts, Bon Jovi and Kid Rock. At the time of his death he was working with Vince Gill on an album of uncompleted Hank Williams songs. Helms died on August 11, 2008 in Nashville, Tennessee.

Helms also worked for the son, HANK "BOCEPHUS" WILLIAMS, JR., and on Junior's (excellent) 1981 album 'The Pressure Is On', he and Bocephus performed a duet titled 'THE BALLAD OF HANK WILLIAMS'. It's a funny parody of 'THE BATTLE OF NEW ORLEANS'. Listen and tell me which recording you like better, the one by Johnny Horton or the parody duet by Hank Williams, Jr., and Don Helms.
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In the 2+ years of 'Battle Of The Bands' history, so far, only one performer has ever beaten Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong in a musical Battle, and that performer was "Bocephus". Can he manage another improbable victory against the classic hit by Johnny Horton? We shall see...

Three things you need to know before proceeding, however, are... 1) The mention of "THE OPRY" refers to the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville which, way back when, was the epicenter of Country-Western music. 2) "AUDREY" (Sheppard) was Hank Williams' first wife. And 3) [Link-->] "FAMILY TRADITION" is actually the name of a Bocephus hit that peaked at #4, and is one of his most popular songs.

Hank "Bocephus" Williams, Jr.: Don, tell us how it really was 

when you was working with daddy.

Don Helms: Well, in 1950, I took a little nip

Along with Mr. Williams on the way to Mississip

We was stacked 8-deep in a Packard limousine

And we met this promoter in the town of New Orleans...

'THE BALLAD OF HANK WILLIAMS' by Hank "Bocephus" Williams, Jr.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur2BQoUtEH0


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Alright now, “you know the gig”... I welcome you (whoever you are) to vote for your favorite of these songs in the comment section below. And feel free to tell us WHY you chose one song over the other. 

After voting here, I suggest - actually I insist - you pop over to the blogs of the other 'BATTLE OF THE BANDS' participants to see which songs they have chosen and vote there also. (If their ‘BOTB’ blog bits aren’t posted yet, pour yourself a MARGARITA – do it twice – and then return to their blogs to vice your voice ...vote your vice ...voice your vote.)

Voice Your Vote @ ‘FAR AWAY SERIES’ by clicking HERE.
@ ‘TOSSING IT OUT’ by clicking HERE.
@ ‘YOUR DAILY DOSE’ by clicking HERE.
@ 'BOOK LOVER' by clicking HERE.
@ 'MIKE'S RAMBLINGS' by clicking HERE.
@ 'CURIOUS AS A CATHY' by clicking HERE.
@ 'THE SOUND OF ONE HAND TYPING' by clicking HERE.
@ 'DCRELIEF - BATTLE OF THE BANDS' by clicking HERE.
@ 'THE DOGLADY'S DEN' by clicking HERE.
@ 'CHERDO ON THE FLIPSIDE' by clicking HERE. 
@ 'ANGELS BARK' by clicking HERE.
@ 'JINGLE JANGLE JUNGLE' by clicking HERE.
@ 'JANIE JUNEBUG, RIGHTING & EDITING' by clicking HERE.
@ 'J.A. SCOTT' by clicking HERE.
@ 'NOVELBREWS' by clicking HERE.
@ 'QUIET LAUGHTER' by clicking HERE. 
@ 'BE REINVINTAGED' by clicking HERE.
@ 'HOLLI'S HOOTS & HOLLERS' by clicking HERE. 

As I've done in the past, I will continue to return to my 'BOTB' blog bits on the 7th and 21st of each month to post my own votes and announce the winners in the comment sections.

~ Stephen T. McCarthy 
DogGtor of Alcohology and King of Inebriation Nation