Tuesday, February 23, 2016


I always had a fairly pronounced moral sense and strongly felt that "lovemaking" was not something to be taken lightly. I never believed in free love and one-night-stands. And that is the reason I decided to lose my virginity in a whorehouse.

[Yes, yes, that was meant to be funny.]

Now wait a minute! That’s not quite as crazy as it sounds when you apply a little pretzel logic to it. You see, I had reached a point where I was determined to put my “virgin” label to bed. And I knew a couple of girls whom I was certain would sleep with me... if I begged enough. But I didn’t want to make love and run; I didn’t want to give some girl the false impression that I had genuine feelings for her when all I really wanted was...

So, it seemed to make sense to me that I should lose that label in a businesslike manner where emotions were not involved and no misunderstandings possible.

And let's face it, when you have a serious physical problem you don't trust it to anyone but a "professional", am I right?

This next part may sound a bit psychotic or something, but in a sense my life has always seemed sort of like a movie to me. There's always been some aspect of my mind that's remained "outside", sort of observing my life and thoughts as if it's watching - and sometimes even directing - a movie that's being filmed or played.

So, one night, I got out my LP (that was a big, round and flat, black piece of vinyl) of 'Paul Simon's Greatest Hits, Etc.' and I played Paul Simon’s song Duncan. I drank a couple of St. Pauli Girl beers (because "You never forget your first girl") and then drove to a cathouse on La Cienega in West Hollywood, located in the shadow of the Playboy Club on Sunset Boulevard. And there I took care of business, doing the wrong thing for the right reason.


And so that’s the story of how I misplaced my virginity. I had entered that house of ill repute, laid it down somewhere, and I never saw it again.

Innocence Lost... Pair-a-dice Found.

I can assure you that when I played 'Duncan' that night in 1980, at that point in my life I didn't have the faintest idea what "the Pentecost" was. Hokey-Smoke, have I learned a lot since then!

'Duncan' by Paul Simon

Couple in the next room
They're bound to win a prize
They've been going at it all night long
Well, I'm trying to get some sleep
But these motel walls are cheap
Lincoln Duncan is my name
And here's my song, here's my song.

My father was a fisherman
My mama was the fisherman's friend
And I was born in the boredom
And the chowder
So when I reached my prime
I left my home in the Maritimes
Headed down the turnpike for
New England, sweet New England

Holes in my confidence
Holes in the knees of my jeans
I was left without a penny in my pocket
Oo-we I was about destituted
As a kid could be
And I wished I wore a ring
So I could hock it, I'd like to hock it.

I saw a young girl in a parking lot
Preaching to a crowd
Singing Sacred songs and
Reading from the Bible
Well I told her I was lost
And she told me all about the Pentecost
And I seen that girl as the road to my survival

Just later on the very same night
When I crept to her tent with a flashlight
And my long years of innocence ended
She took me to the woods sayin'
"Here comes somethin' and it feels so good!"
And just like a dog I was befriended
I was befriended

Oh, oh, what a night
Oh, what a garden of delight
Even now that sweet memory lingers
I was playin' my guitar
Lying underneath the stars
Just thankin' the Lord for my fingers
For my fingers

My previous blog bits pertaining to 'The Soundtrack Of My Life' (TSOML) can be found by clicking the links below:

TSOML #1 - Prelude To An Introduction
TSOML #2- Introduction
TSOML #3 - 1959

TSOML #4 - 1967
TSOML #5 - 1974
TSOML #6 - 1978

TSOML #7 - Late 1978

For more TSOML participants, visit the blog of GIRL WONDER ('Your Daily Dose') by clicking HERE.

~ Stephen T. McCarthy


  1. I've always liked that song "Duncan" a lot but this is the first time I ever knew the name of it.

    I've never been to a whorehouse or been with a prostitute. For that matter I'm not sure how I'd find a whorehouse other than maybe in a place like Nevada if it were advertised. I've seen women that I'm sure were prostitutes, but they were ladies I wouldn't have wanted to approach. Once I was approached by someone who essentially was beginning to negotiate an encounter but I'm pretty sure the "she" was really a he or maybe an it and I got away from that pretty quickly.

    What used to annoy me when I was younger was that when I'd meet a woman who really interested me and I wanted to start off with some kind of relationship that involved respect, she'd either reject me outright or play super hard to get and then she'd turn around and give it up to some jerk of a guy who had a use 'em then lose 'em attitude.

    I tend to be a bit of an idealist about love, relationships, and everything else for that matter. That often leaves me frustrated and disillusioned. But now it doesn't matter so much. Now I have different things to think about like getting old and sick and running out of money and then dying and getting thrown in a hole somewhere and forgotten. Such is the story that faces most of us I guess.

    Yeah, "Duncan" is an excellent song. Better than I had realized.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Tossing It Out

    1. LEE ~

      >>... I'm not sure how I'd find a whorehouse...

      Well, you could just follow me around for awhile.

      Ha! I'm kidding. That was my one and only time in a whorehouse.

      Once upon a time there was a woman who'd park her car in a lot late at night near a Thrifty drug store on Lincoln Blvd in Venice. And she'd just sit there and wait for customers.

      Everything was done right there in her car. It was the most bizarre place and circumstances. It still seems like something out of a weird movie.

      I think she was an independent operator (no pimp). I certainly never even spoke to her, but I was the first to notice her there night after night and proclaim that she had to be prostitute.

      And I turned out to be right because a friend of mine decided to test my theory one night. He made a deal and got what he paid for... right there in her 4-door Cadillac (or some similar luxury but rather old model automobile).

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

  2. While I've never been to a house of ill repute, I think I'd agree with that approach before lying to get in a young lady's trousers.

    Many say the world's oldest profession victimizes women.

    There used to be an HBO series about a cathouse in Nevada, and the amounts of money changing hands for that particular commodity were eye-opening...upwards of $2,000.

    Not sure who the victim is in that case.

    Always loved that song as well, although there's a Springsteen song ("Reno") that might fit better.


    1. LC ~
      Never heard of Springsteen's 'Reno', so I checked out the lyrics...

      Man, pathetic! Downright pathetic!

      THAT'S the guy who once wrote
      "Outside the street's on fire in a real death waltz
      Between what's flesh and what's fantasy
      And the poets down here don't write nothing at all
      They just stand back and let it all be."?!?!

      Sheesh! Nobody ever lost it worse than Springsteen did!

      'Reno' is basically pornography. There is NO "art" in those lyrics AT ALL!

      The last album of his I ever bought was 'Born In The U.S.A.' I recognized the total sell-out at that point and how his writing had diminished from those first 4 albums. But... but... I had no idea that he was now turning out trash so bad that it makes Bob Seger's 'HORIZONTAL BOP' seem like Robert Frost!

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

  3. If I was as good-looking as you back then, no girl would have been safe.

    Great song. Never heard it before...

    and 'Blues Alive'...wow! I should spend more time around here.

    Well, here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women.

    Captain Sig from Menemsha

      Ha! Thanks... but I never ever thought of myself as good-looking, and it seems neither did the girls.

      I was never popular with the girls. I'm sure my extraordinary shyness didn't he'p matters.

      By the time I'd gotten over my shyness (big time and how!), I no longer cared about girls so very much. Yeah, liked 'em OK (strictly a "confident heterosexual" here), but the fact that I've never been married and went long stretches without a girlfriend illustrates how when I "found myself" (No! I didn't mean it THAT way!), I could take 'em or leave 'em.

      I'm a pretty big Paul Simon (and Simon & Garfunkel) fan. I think he was one of the best lyricists ever. Not better'n Dylan, or Tom Waits, or Todd Snider, but... he's probably next in line, IMO.

      Yeah, 'BLUES ALIVE' is a serious rave-up! I was just listening to it tonight in my truck on the drive home from work.

      "Swimmin' with bow-legged women" - Ha!-Ha! Man, you still got it. (I miss yer bloggin', Bro!)

      ~ D-FensDogG

  4. When I was young I had the idea that the first time should be special, it should be with someone I really care about, sunshine and puppies and rainbows blah blah blah. I should have taken your approach. Mine ended up being so terrible I wasn't even sure if I should technically consider it as losing the V-card, because it was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway and after a while I just got bored and stopped trying, having not even come close to finishing the task.

    (Since you shared something pretty personal, why not keep it going?)

    ...I don't think Rhymin' Simon has a song for my plight, though. Maybe You Can Call Me Al, but only the part about the 'roly-poly little bat-faced girl.'


    1. 6-B ~
      You'll 'preciate the fact that I'm listening to 'THE ESSENTIAL PAUL SIMON' while I type dese woids.

      >>... When I was young I had the idea that the first time should be special, it should be with someone I really care about...

      Yeah, I felt the same way about it, long before you existed. The only problem was that the girls I really liked and cared about didn't seem to care about me.

      And then you reach a certain point where you think: Ahh, let's just get this thing over with!

      I REALLY didn't want to hurt any of the girls who seemed to be interested in me, whom I wasn't really interested in. (Turned out 'LOST A NUMBER' and 'MAKE IT WITH YOU' were just songs.)

      >>... it was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway

      HA! Well, I don't personally know anyone whose first time was really great. Memorable, yes - in a bad way, usually - but not an ideal memory.

      If I had it to do over again... I wouldn't. I don't regret it - I think I did the "right" thing at the time, within my limited knowledge and understanding of what was right and wrong. But I was young and stupid.

      Today, of course, my Biblical beliefs lead me to think very, Very, VERY differently about the whole thing. But "learning" is one of the primary reasons we're here.

      However... where'd you find that "roly-poly, little, bat-faced girl"? That's always been my major sexual fetish! Did she have toes, too? MMMmmmmm...!

      ~ D-FensDogG

  5. Stephen,
    Nice post as always....Just thanking the Lord for my Fingers
    My Fingers
    What about my elbow?

    1. Thanks, POOH!

      >>... What about my elbow?

      Man, I laughed-out-loud, LITERALLY! Thanks for that! ("THOSE were the days, my friend! We thought they'd never end.")

      ~ D-FensDogG

  6. Try and follow me here, but this story made me think of General Hospital. I've had an on again/off again love affair with various soaps. By far, my longest is with General Hospital. Certain storylines just sink their teeth into me and I can't let go. One of them was back in 1998. Lucky Spencer and Elizabeth Weber. Epic stuff. Anyway, you and Lucky have some stuffs in common. Check this out:


    I bet you beat the girls off with a stick.

    I don't beat girls.

    The guy playing Lucky is Jonathan Jackson. He is now on the TV show Nashville and sang the song I dedicated to you: That's How You Learn To Live Alone.

    The thinking was convoluted, but the intention was good. I like to think that our intentions are what matters most.

    1. GIRL WONDER ~
      Hey, that was a pretty good clip. You shoulda saved it for a 'Here's To You Thursday' post... when you start 'em up again someday.

      Three major differences, however, between me and yer boy, Lucky:

      1: Real Men (meaning me) don't wear earrings. (I don't paint my finger and toe nails, either.)

      2: My hooker was younger and better looking.

      3: Lucky said, "I don't beat girls". However, I DO beat 'em...

      ...but only when they want me to:

      "Well, I met a girl at the Rainbow Bar
      She asked me if I'd beat her
      She took me back to the Hyatt House
      I don't want to talk about it."

      ~ 'Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me'
      Warren Zevon

      FUN FACTS:
      The Hyatt House (known to famous Rock 'N' Rollers as "the Riot House") was/is located about 1-1/2 to 2 blocks from "my whorehouse".

      If I walked North from the whorehouse, half a block up to Sunset Boulevard, and then turned right and walked 1 or 2 blocks, that's where the Hyatt House was/is.


      That post-tour party scene toward the end of 'This Is Spinal Tap' was filmed at the Hyatt House's rooftop swimming pool.

      Also, just a couple blocks South from the whorehouse, on the same side of the street, is the ALTA CIENEGA MOTEL where Jim Morrison of The Doors lived for years:


      It was a "Rockin'" rich Rock music neighborhood where I first got the rocks off.

      Great comment, GW!

      ~ D-FensDogG

    2. I know that I've read about The Hyatt House on this blog before. But I appreciate the refresher information.

      I noticed that "your" whorehouse was on La Cienega. I meant to mention in my first comment a song that I'm almost positive I've referred to you before, but maybe not... La Cienega Just Smiled. Is La Cienega (as in the street) notorious for hookers and this sort of thing? I've always wondered precisely what he meant in this lyric. Here's the song. Maybe you can clear it up for me.


      When I dedicated the song That's How You Learn to Live Along to you way back when, this is the version I wanted to use (finally available on YouTube):


    3. GIRL WONDER ~
      I don't think I'd heard that song before. And unfortunately I'm not going to be able to clear up the meaning of the lyrics for ya.

      LA CIENEGA is a major street that runs North-South through various neighborhoods. A pretty long street that culminates at the North end in West Hollywood forming a T with Sunset Boulevard.

      There are countless businesses all along La Cienega but it's not particularly known for any one thing, not even whorehouses.

      My guess is that Ryan or someone he knew had a relationship with a girl who had lived on or near La Cienega.

      Was his song a hit?
      I'm reminded of that hit song by - what's her name? Crowe? Crow? Sheryl Crow. Is that it? The song where she sings about seeing the sun come up over SANTA MONICA BOULEVARD.

      That too must have had some personal significance for the songwriter (which I think was one of my Davids from DAVID & DAVID). But the peculiar thing is that although SANTA MONICA BOULEVARD is a massive, major East-West street that runs from the ocean in Santa Monica through countless neighborhoods in L.A., it's not really known for any one thing particularly.

      By the way, I hated, Hated, HATED that song! I didn't like it to begin with, but then they played it to death and now I still wake up from nightmares about it, screaming in a cold sweat! One of the most annoying songs of all time!

      Girl Wonder, have you ever been to L.A.? You've probably told me before but I don't remember.

      I like that 'How You Learn To Live Alone' song. That hits me where I live.

      ~ D-FensDogG

    4. Yeah, the girl he wrote about probably lived on La Cienega or they met there or had a first date there or SOMETHING.

      Normally I could tell you the name of that Sheryl Crow song, but it escapes me right now. I wasn't doing much radio listening when it came out so I didn't get played to death with it, so it doesn't bother me.

      No, I've never been to CA. Las Vegas is as far west as I've been!

    5. Well, that's pretty far West though.

      It was a great place to grow up when I was growing up there in the '60s and '70s. But no amount of money could make me live in L.A. today.

      ~ D-FensDogG

  7. Paul Simon was a favorite, and I like this catchy tune!

    As for your post, we come from two different worlds. I wouldn't begin to understand, much less, know what to say. Then again, I don't have to know. I'm here to support your writing. Nice work!

    ~ dp

    1. dp ~
      Thanks for stopping by, even if I left you speechless.

      ~ D-FensDogG

  8. You wild boy you:)This song is great and I think it speaks so much about you. my ex went to a prostitute for his first time due to fear of not being "good" in the sack <(he was ok). my first time was good I might add. I was a late bloomer in that way but now I have blossomed. Thankfully I don't think I am fading. My hubby, on the other hand, was a slut when he was young. I have called him that and he laughs. I love your story

    1. Thanks, BIRGIT ~
      I'm actually kind of pleasantly surprised to find how many commenters have said they like the song.

      I think it's a good one and I do like it myself, but being kind of "folkie" and sparsely arranged, I wouldn't have expected so many readers/listeners to embrace it. It seems to me like the sort of song that wouldn't be in the wheelhouse of so many. I'm glad it is though.

      When it comes to this particular activity, I think that for a few different reasons, generally speaking, there is more pressure on the male.

      For one thing, most guys feel that if the woman simply shows up and permits it, it's automatically an A- "sexperience", and its grade can only go up from there.

      Women are usually a bit harder to please because they have higher standards.

      You're one of very, very few people I've ever known who thought their first time was a good time.

      I think most people just kind of Fumble & Bumble their way through it the first couple times. I was no exception. In fact, I don't think I ever graduated beyond the F&B level. Ha!

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

  9. Just discovered your blog, what an awesome story, love your style and going to check out the rest now! 😊

  10. PS: I enjoy your blog so I've nominated you for the Music & Words Award, specifically for music bloggers. You don't have to accept it but here's the info if you do: https://musicfanandrea.wordpress.com/2016/02/26/blog-love-music-words-award-mwa/ 💚

    1. MISS ANDI ~
      I have a "style"?
      WOO-HOO! I have a style! I always wondered if I had one, or if the best description of my writing was just "rambling".

      Seriously, seriously, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read and comment. It's genuinely appreciated.

      You posted at 2:12 and 3:11 AM. Hokey-Smoke! You must be a young lady, 'cause no one in my age group is ever up that late. There was a time though, there was a time...

      OK, I'm off to check out the site you URLed me to. Thanks again!

      ~ D-FensDogG

  11. The soundtrack of your life is certainly an interesting one!

    I like Simon but I've never heard "Duncan," and cannot say that I like it. As you told Birgit: you are surprised at how many people have said they like the song. ME TOO. It WON'T surprise you that I don't... since you do.

    Since many here are revealing some insights into their own sexperiences, I'll say this: my first time was excellent and successful, but the next 357 times were terrible. After that, they gradually improved. One day they became consistently great.

    How's THAT for TMI?? Fortunately, only three or four of your readers know my real name.

    1. SEX ~
      (Ha!-Ha!) Right, right. I shoulda known you wouldn't like the song. But when Lee said he did, nothing in my world seemed to make sense all of a sudden.

      There are plenty of Paul Simon songs that I like better'n 'Duncan' - as I really am a longtime fan of his music - but I think 'Duncan' is a good one, and pretty catchy for such a mellow ballad.

      357? I don't think I've even had 357 sexperiences in my entire life. (OK, I have, but I'm still way behind the curve.)

      And, "sexperiences" - that should be a REAL word! It happened by accident. I was attempting to type "experiences" but my finger hit the s instead of the x, so I had "es--". I glanced at it for a second and my mind recognized that if I'd add the x and move the s to the front I'd have a perfect new word for what I was really conveying.

      Better to be lucky than good.

      ~ D-FensDogG

    2. Ha, ha, ha! I know your real name and now; like everyone else, I apparently have your number.

  12. I've heard this story before and seen the pictures (the ones you posted here, not of the actual incident), but what I find most interesting is that when a blogger posts something like this; something of a very private intimate nature, how many people are anxious to tell their story of a similar private intimate experience. YIKES! Not this dumb blonde. That's for sure.

    1. FAE ~

      >>... seen the pictures (the ones you posted here, not of the actual incident)

      No pictures of the actual incident exist. In fact, not so much as a single picture of ANY sexperience involving me exists or ever did exist.

      The TSA can't even get an x-ray picture of my junk because I refuse to comply with those security measures keeping us, oh, so safe!

      And you don't need to tell us about your first sexperience. We already know: Cheerleader FAE loses it in the back of a VW Bug with the star quarterback. (Everybody was yakking about it the next day at the pep rally.)

      ~ D-FensDogG

    2. Ha, ha, ha! You couldn't be more wrong!

    3. The ONLY reason people open up here on the internet is anonymity. Now, I supposed the NSA has put two and two together and entered our private info into their files... but the rest of these readers know nuttin' bout nuttin.

      Besides, it was StMcC that started all this!

      Let's see... OK, if not the bug:

      Debate Captain FAE loses "it" in bet with winning captain of opposing debate team. The subject was "Partial Birth Abortion Should Be Made Illegal." FAE was assigned to argue against the proposal.

    4. SEXGUN ~
      No, no, no! That ain't never gonna fly, because "Partial Birth Abortion" wasn't even "a thing" when FAE lost hers.

      Alright, I'll take another stab at this-- er... I mean, I'll guess again:

      FAE probably lost it to some long-haired radical who convinced her that love - like EVERYTHING else - should be free, Free, FREE!

      In fact, it was probably Bernie Sanders... back when he was known as "The Colonel" because he HAD so many chicks.

      ~ D-FensDogG

  13. HA HA HA!

    >>Alright, I'll take another stab at this-- er... I mean, I'll guess again:<<

    This is your best comment section ever. I think you should reinvent your blog, abandoning the BOTB thang, and just riff on this for a couple of years!

    1. Ha! It's ironic how the comments step up to a higher creative level when the subject stoops down to the gutter.

      ~ D-FensDogG

  14. Bernie Sanders give me a break. I shoulda stuck with the quarterback.

    1. Yes, you SHOULD have!
      How could you say "No!" to the Quarterback and "Yes!" to Colonel Sanders?

      Why, I oughta...!

      ~ D-FensDogG

  15. Hi,
    I've always had an issue with corny love songs that talk about "making love." In truth, the guys singing about making love are really just trying to perform an act. People should really stop lying about this stuff.

    Now don't get me wrong there is love and people who truly love their wives. However, there are also people like my neighbors who have raging sex orgies and invite me over to tap help in the festivities (I declined). However, I am planting lots of shrubbery around that fence line. Seems my one female neighbor likes to have her girlfriends head between her legs outside in the middle of the day. My other neighbor thinks aliens are trying to abduct him so he carries his shotgun around.

    I guess what I'm saying is I live in soddam and gemorrah and I told my wife I'm contacting the realtor, it's time to move.

    So when you say your life feels like a movie. I totally get it. Problem is I want to return my current version.

    1. BR'ER MARC ~
      Don't mention this to the shotgun-toting neighbor, but tell the other ones that there are some vacant homes near me with very reasonable rents.

      Yeah, and then sometimes my life seems more like a nightmare than a dream.

      Long time, man. How'd you find your way back here? I thought you were a goner for good. Glad to find you in my comment sections once again. I hope you're well, Br'er.

      ~ D-FensDogG

    2. Friend,

      School and family obligations. When one of those two slow down I find my way back. When they ramp up again I find it more challenging. Your posts demand a certain amount of attention, and if I can't fully give them their due I see no reason to half ass it. It's like listening to half of a great album.

    3. It's cool, BR'ER. I do un'erstan'.

      But, for the record, I half-ass most of my blog bits anymore, so half-assed responses are fully acceptable.

      By the way, my best blog, 'FERRET-FACED FASCIST FRIENDS', was recently resurrected and I will begin posting more and more on that one in time to come.

      I'll be happy to find you here anytime you have the opportunity to check in.

      ~ D-FensDogG


All submitted comments that do not transgress "Ye Olde Comment Policy" will be posted and responded to as soon as possible. Thanks for taking the time to comment.